You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
