Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
