he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
