I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
