I hope mine doesn't look like that
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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