Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
