"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
thus making me awesome and them whores
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
