just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
