At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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