so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
