I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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