I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
