sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Randomize
