I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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