do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
