69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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