butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
