I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
