Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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