Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Two words: nipple clamps
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