um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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