her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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