He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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