it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
God, I missed his penis.
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