What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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