I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
