chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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