I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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