I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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