How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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