Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
