I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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