Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
