His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize