never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
