porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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