So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize