I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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