eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
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No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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