I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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