Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
