I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
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