So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
