then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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