what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
