why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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