I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
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i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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