i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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