In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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