It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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