I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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