fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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