My friends, they love my intelligence
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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