I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
