I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
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