Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
