I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i wish my penis had a tongue
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
