some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
