Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
