Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
