Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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