I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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