don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
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