Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
